One last look
by TFALokiwriter
Summary: At the end of the five year mission, Jim decides to visit the bridge before he goes down to Earth and the Enterprise goes under refit. And before he becomes an admiral. Inspired by a Star Trek picture on deviant art entitled "Last look"


"Five years,seesh, that went by fast." McCoy said.

Jim nodded.

"It has," Jim said, as they came to a stop at the transporter doors. "I accepted the admiralcy."

McCoy raised an eyebrow at Jim.

"You are too young for that," McCoy said. "You know as well that you are fit for another five years. Why would Star Fleet waste the youngest captain in the fleet for desk duty?"

"I have been thinking. . ." Jim said, fiddling with his shoe on the floor then turned his attention back toward McCoy. "Perhaps it is time to settle down."

McCoy's eyebrow lowered.

"The last time you said ' _settle down_ '," McCoy said. "We ended up being dragged back aboard the Enterprise because a certain Vulcan was meddling around the 'settler displacer' people with the help of Sulu and all those women were sent back right where they belonged. I don't see settling down would last very long for you."

Jim shook his head.

"This time it is not a mission," Jim said. "I am not going to die alone. I don't want to. But I feel like I will."

McCoy had a long look at the young captain.

"Goodbye, Jim," McCoy said. "Make sure to send a holo-message once in a while," McCoy held his hand out for Jim. "Will ya?"

Jim smiled.

"I will," Jim said, then he took McCoy's hand and shook on it. "Take care of yourself, Bones."

"The only person I have to worry about for now on is me and not the two of you," McCoy said. "It is going to be nice out for me."

Jim let go of McCoy's hand with a smile.

McCoy turned toward the doors that automatically opened for him then he went through the doorway. Jim's smile faded into a sad kind of expression. He had already sent his belongings back to Iowa a few hours ago. He was only staying behind to say farewell to the Enterprise. The young man went down the hall then into a turbo lift where he grabbed one of the latches then said, "Sick Bay." The turbo lift doors closed.

Five minutes later they opened to the medical section of the Enterprise.

Jim went down the hall noticing that most of the crew members had left. He had already had a tour of engineering. Oh, the problems they had in there and the aliens who attempted to thwart their success. He came into sick bay looking around. He could remember McCoy sitting there in the char, arms folded,head leaned back, with a book resting on his nose. He looked around in the sick bay room where most of the patients went. He remembered how many times McCoy saved his royal butt and Spock's as well. . . Speaking of which, Jim hadn't seen him in the past few hours. Perhaps saying goodbye to the human he served with for five years is painful.

Jim remembered all the times he ended up in Sick Bay, sometimes with Spock, and sometimes not at all. He recalled Spock landing here half of the time. Jim would check up on his Vulcan friend to see if he were all right. Most of the time Spock told McCoy he had his duties to return to and McCoy would say something along the lines of, " _Not without the captain's permission are you going to do so!_ ". Which usually brought the Vulcan's attention to Jim.

The room was dark.

The screens were glowing contrasting against the darkness in the room.

Then Jim left the room. He visited the recreation room where he and Spock shared numerous chess games, Spock won all of them in the end. Even their last. The cafeteria, oh the memories, had one time been preoccupied by Tribbles. They were cute and adorable and at the same time dangerous to the crew as they ate their food supply. Jim felt along the tables. The conversations he shared with McCoy while they ate in here when their shifts were over. Missions, reports, casual conversation, concerns, and worries. Sometimes he was joined by Spock and McCoy debating.

Jim left the cafeteria.

The halls were still lit.

Jim visited the science lab, one that he did not visit a lot but he did occasionally when the mission turned toward science. He remembered a memorable time being here when McCoy and Spock were working with Nurse Chapel on some cure of the sorts to bring him back to usual speed. Deela and he sharing a conversation here regarding the Scalosians plan. It made him smile recalling the beautiful women he could not have. The one who challenged him in more ways than one. Attractive? Yes. Beautiful? Yes. The woman who was right for him to be with? No. She took him against his free will to her speed and made him choose over his crew.

Jim went out of the science lab.

Then the young captain came into the turbo lift and took a handle.

"Bridge." Jim said.

It felt sad to leave the first ship he ever commanded. Jim could feel a tear forming around his eyes so he wiped it off. What was the chance that he would ever see anyone from his ship face to face after today? The chances were low. Extremely low. Truth to be told, Jim felt guilty. Guilty for what? Being the only Kirk in the family who hadn't had children, yet. George assured Jim that he would find his partner, one day in space not on Earth, but what if he couldn't find that significant partner? Love was a subject that was a mystery to everyone in the universe. It drove people mad. Made silent men into warriors. Drove people across the galaxy for the other. It made people do what they would never do at all. Leaps and bounds taken. Love is shared as is life. Companionship, Jim has learned, is what he has seen common around the alien beings he has come across on the _Enterprise_. Could there be hope that he would find his companion?

Sure!

He is James _Tiberius_ Kirk.

The man who's heart was taken by his fine silver lady.

 **Woosh**.

The doors opened to see the lighten up bridge where Spock was his station erasing what data they had gathered since it had been sent to Star Fleet. No, that wasn't what Jim saw. It was unexpected. Jim walked into the bridge. Jim saw Spock stroking Uhura on the side of her face using his two fingers. Uhura lifted her hand up, her two fingers held out, and their fingers met. A smile grew on the captain's face. At least Spock wouldn't die alone. Spock looked over to see the beaming captain so he lowered his hand down. Uhura looked over toward the door then turned her head away back in the direction of Spock.

"I will see you on Earth." Uhura said.

Uhura went toward the turbo lift then went in and took the handle.

The doors closed.

"At least some one here is not going to die alone." Jim said.

Spock raised an arched eyebrow.

"What kind of comment is that?" Spock asked.

"I am happy for you." Jim said.

Spock lowered his eyebrow.

"Are you indicating you feel hopeless that you will find your mate?" Spock asked.

"No." Jim said.

"Jim, I have known you for five years, three months, two weeks,and four days," Spock said. "You are more likely to finding the one to your heart than Mr Chekov admitting not everything is made in Russia." His beaming smile came into a sad one. "And the chances of meeting you again are seventy-eight point ninety-two percent due to there being a chance of future reunions."

Jim's sad smile had all but faded.

"What about the other twenty-two point eight percent?" Jim asked.

"There are chances we won't have the time simply for that with our separate lives." Spock said.

Jim walked over to the chair and his hand traced along the arm rest.

"Did you ever say goodbye to Pike before he left?" Jim asked.

"Affirmative." Spock said.

Jim looked over toward Spock.

"Make sure you take care of Uhura." Jim said.,

"She is a fiercely independent woman, Jim," Spock said. "She can take care of herself."

"I mean when she can't." Jim said.

Spock paused, contemplating, hands behind his back.

"I will be there for her when she is ill, for better or worse." Spock said.

"Uhura is lucky to have you." Jim said.

"Her name is Nyota." Spock said.

"Like, named after the Nyota car brand?" Jim asked.

"You are confusing Toyota with her name." Spock said.

Jim smiled, looking away from the chair.

"The best years of my life were spent here," Jim said. "And I will always remember these five years as the best. Where are you going with Uhura?"

"I will be a instructor for the academy in Science," Spock said. "And Nyota is planning to return to space. We will find . . . common ground for our relationship."

"I hope she gets that promotion." Jim said.

"She plans to accept the rank of Commander." Spock said.

"Good for her," Jim said. "We need woman like her in Star Fleet. She would make a great captain one of these days."

"Jim. . ." Spock started to say but Jim cut him off.

"I am not commanding another vessel." Jim said.

"You are not?" Spock asked, raising both eyebrows in surprise.

Jim nodded.

"Admiral Kirk," Jim said. "How does _that_ sound?"'

Spock lowered his eyebrows.

"Unusual, but then again, you are a unusually illogical and irrational human being." Spock noted.

That familiar grin spread on Jim's face, as he sat down into the chair for one last time.

"Thank you,Mr Spock," Jim said. "Thank you for being my friend."

Spock nodded.

"Goodbye, Jim." Spock said, in his usual monotone and emotionless voice.

Spock went into the turbo lift, then he took the handle and the doors closed. A quick and painless farewell, no tears, no regrets, and certainly no guilt. Jim took out a padd from the arm rest compartment of the captain's chair. He took a style-alized pen from the pen holder to his left of the arm rest. Jim got down back to work.

' _Dear captain of the Enterprise:_ '

Jim looked over toward Spock's station then back to the padd.

' _You might have a Vulcan or not as your first officer, maybe they are an android, maybe they are just a human with some mental disability._ '

Jim smiled, warmly, at the memory of meeting Spock for the first time.

' _But I do know this: value their advice. Cold hard calculations on your side and your heart in the right place, you can get anything done. I have a feeling you might have a Vulcan by your side or at least serving you (maybe not in the field) on the Enterprise. A science officer, by my experience, is the one who makes important reports and deductions about planets or anywhere we go. This old girl has gone through being slung alongside the sun twice for the sake of historical studies. She has, at many times, been dragged through the atmosphere and come back with her crew to tell the tale._ '

Jim looked over toward Scotty's station then back to the padd.

' _Your engineer keeps the ship running, I have a feeling it might be Scotty. Whatever you do: do not engage in a drinking contest with Scotty. He beat a Kelvan Agent by giving him various drinks until they both were drunk and had a hung over. Okay, that is a story for another time.'_ Jim had a short laugh. _'Believe in the Engineer and the ship: they'll get you home in one piece. Scotty is a valuable member of the ship. If it is not Scotty. . . Make sure you know your chief engineer. Trust in him or her. They'll beam you out of the tight spot. Save their lives and they will save yours._ '

Jim looked over toward Uhura's station with a short lived smile recalling the first day he saw Uhura at her station. The image he was seeing faded away. Then his attention shifted back to the padd.

' _Your communications officer is a valuable member of the crew. If you get Commander Uhura, realize she is a brilliant woman. Realize just with her faults and her skills, she can do any task she set herself to. If you get another Communications Officer other than Uhura then listen carefully to what they have to say. They matter on and off the ship no matter what they do. Messages being sent and from; coherent is important. It is important that the captain and the communication officer understand each other. Just like your science officer, the communications officer is a important person. You speak with them to a day to day basis. Speaking of which . . ._ '

Jim's eyes landed on the Navigator and Helmsmen stations.

Jim could easily picture Chekov and Sulu at their stations sharing a conversation regarding a certain subject regarding 'made in China' and 'Made in Russia' or something along the lines of 'fencing'. Their figures vanished before Jim's eyes.

' _Navigator and Helmsmen._ '

Jim sighed.

' _They work together, equally, and they are essential. They work together like a piece of a puzzle or a LEGO piece. If you get Lieutenant Commander Sulu and Lieutenant Chekov . . . Chekov has no siblings. So if Chekov starts babbling about a sibling with a strange name then something is up. Sulu knows Chekov well, so if Sulu notices something is not right about Chekov then you must listen to him. If the Navigator cannot do his duties including the helmsmen who may be impaired then something is very wrong with them but if they are not then something is very wrong with what you are doing. A captain has flaws and makes mistakes, you must address it and learn from it_.'

Jim looked over toward his side, where McCoy would usually be when he comes on the bridge once every morning, imagining the man sharing some form of banter with Spock. More than one time would a slanted eyebrow be raised when speaking with the doctor. Jim had a fond smile at the scene that faded away before his eyes. He felt sad. There was not going to be another day where he served on the Enterprise. Desk duty. Perhaps he will matter more as a admiral and have the power to actually do what he could not do as a captain. On the bridge, you matter, behind the desk? You may or may not matter more. That is where all the power lies.

Jim slid the screen down using his finger then resumed writing on the pad.

' _The Doctor is a important member of the crew, as are the nurses. If you get Doctor McCoy, who I doubt would ever come back into space, then you have to be aware he will do anything in his power to make sure that you do not die and including your first officer. I had the luck to have Mr Spock as my science officer and first officer, why I could be the luckiest man in the universe! A strong, healthy relationship between the first officer and the doctor is a requirement I will say. Without it: you would have a mutiny on your hands. Nothing would go right. Besides, if something happened to you and that left Mr Spock. . .Forget that part. That left your first officer in charge of the ship: your crew must be able to look up toward him/her and believe in him/her. Not only you. The first officer, I assume, will be able to take care of becoming acquainted with the entire crew. You might want to bring your CMO with you on some of the missions you get into. Medical expertise is very useful, especially when you've lost your communicators and you cannot contact the ship for a emergency beaming_.'

Jim tapped the stylist on the padd.

 _'As for being a captain of the Enterprise?_ '

Jim rubbed his chin looking around the empty room.

' _Cherish the time you have on this ship. Five years goes by fast. The Enterprise may or may not become like home to you. Just like it did for the rest of my crew (who I am not sure if it is like home to them so I am going off straws) but for me it is home. My home that is going in for a drastic change. It will never be the same but perhaps the bridge. . . Perhaps the bridge will not change. Obeying the prime directive is a requirement for being a captain, saving civilizations, documenting these civilizations, and exploring new worlds_.'

The edge of Jim's hand met the screen.

' _Space. The final frontier. These were the voyages of the USS Enterprise. Her five year mission? It was to explore new worlds and new civilizations. The mission? It has been completed. Now? it is your turn. Your turn to take the chair and lead her off into space. Into uncharted territory. I am not going to ask for her back after she is done with her refit. She is all yours, captain. Treat her fine and she will get you home. Or she will become home in my case. The next time I step on a starship . . . it is not going to be the Enterprise. I know that for a fact.'_ Jim paused, briefly looking down toward the text _. 'I am going to miss this old girl. This fine silver lady. The crew. The officers. The adventures. The missions. The aliens. I will miss it all. But right now, it is time for someone else to matter on the bridge_.'

Jim sighed.

' _I suppose this is the end._ '

Jim looked toward the view screen displaying Earth right below.

' _Good luck_.'

He twirled the stylist in his fingers.

' _Scratch that_.'

Jim smiled.

' _Live long and prosper._ '

Jim grinned.

' _The bridge is yours, captain_.'

Jim briefly closed his eyes then opened them.

' _Sincerely: Admiral James T. Kirk._ '

Jim placed the stylist back into its holder then he got off the chair and placed the padd on the seat facing upwards. He had scrolled the screen up to the 'Dear captain' beginning. Five years went by so fast. Sad to see the ship was going to change drastically. He wouldn't know the ship by heart anymore. He felt along the back rest of the chair knowingly. He turned his head toward the turbo lift. He walked away from the chair then flipped a switch coming toward the turbo lift plunging the room into darkness. The turbo lift doors opened. The lights went out inside the room. The red rails were somewhat brightened by the pool of light. Jim looked back one last time feeling nostalgia. He watched the bridge in his mind brighten to life. He could remember Helmsmen Lee Kelso at his station, Gary Michell at the navigation station, Elizabeth Dehner the new head psychiatrist standing by the chair, Spock at his station,and Doctor Mark Piper right behind. The memory was replaced by the crew he had known for four years in their places. One that he had called his _Enterprise_ family more than anything.

"Goodbye, _Enterprise_." Jim said.

Jim went inside the turbo lift then he took the handle.

"Transport room." Jim said.

The doors closed before Jim's eyes on the bridge for what felt like the last time.

 _Goodbye._

 **The End**.


End file.
